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Bacon for your face

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“Your clean-shaven face makes me wanna oink.”

You’ll be hearing that more frequently now that Seattle-based J&D’s Foods, maker of bacon-flavored salt and bacon-flavored mayonnaise, has introduced Bacon Shaving Cream ($14.99).

“It’s the highest-quality meat-scented shaving cream on the market today,” say bacontrepreneurs Justin Esch and Dave Lefkow, who own the company that also sells bacon lip balm, bacon baby formula, fake roses that smell like bacon, a $3,000 coffin with bacon motif and a rasher of other bacon items.

“Our product’s rich creamy moisturizers and hearty essential oils ensure a high-performance, velvety smooth shaving experience,” say Justin and Dave. “Our advanced heat-activated aromatic technology lasts for hours and delivers maximum bacon scent when you need it most.”

Order it at baconshavingcream.com. Then lather up and await the results. Careful now, don’t be piggy.