I’m starting to get a reputation as THE guy you just might want to play with for a round of golf. It’s a reputation that is beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable because it creates expectations impossible for me to meet.
Up until last year, I hadn’t even seen a hole in one, much less had one myself. Every guy or gal who plays the game aspires to record an ace — a ‘1’ on a par 3. Typically, it’s a short iron shot into the green from the tee box, watching the ball fly or roll directly into the hole sans shots two or more. A hole in one is the goal of low, mid and high handicappers world-wide. Most professional golfers have a bunch of these. Most amateurs have none. The odds are 12,700 to 1 for the average joe-hack to ever claim a par-3 ‘1.’
In the summer of 2013, I was witness to my first ace on No. 9 at Highlander Golf Course. I was playing with ‘those guys at sunrise’ when Dennis Gibson hit a short iron over the canyon, the ball landed softly on the green and rolled in for his third lifetime ace. Naturally, all of us were excited for Dennis, but deep down I was selfishly asking, “When is it my turn?”
Maybe you have heard of the guy who, in March, scored a double eagle and an ace in the same round at Highlander!?! Yup, I was there! Jim Dyer, from Mukilteo, made an albatross on No. 5 and 20 minutes later he recorded a ‘1’ on No. 7. Wow, right? This story went viral and the golf world was blown away by this extremely rare athletic event.
A short six weeks later, I was paired with Aaron Levine from Q13 Sports for the Apple Blossom Festival golf tournament, once again at Highlander. Aaron nails the jar on No. 14 with a seven iron from 159 yards out. Holy cow! It made his weekly “Lexus Play of the Week” segment on Q13.
At the awards ceremony, head pro Joe Gordon acknowledged the ace and concluded his remarks by saying, “We have a sign-up sheet in the pro shop for those of you who want to play with Dan. You are almost assured to get a double eagle or a hole in one!” Very funny!
So I continue to wait for an ace. I figure I’ve played just over 3,000 rounds of golf over my 40-plus years of playing, so the odds are not in my favor. But, odds aside, the real reason I have yet to record the elusive ‘1’ is I have too much LOFT (Lack Of Fricking Talent).
So, if you want to play a round with me and you expect a once-in-a-lifetime golf event to happen — well, the sign-up sheet is in the pro shop. However, there will be a small surcharge, and please don’t ask me to rub your golf balls for good luck.
See you on the first tee.
Dan Sollom can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.