Salutations, meant to welcome the reader, come in all kinds of dreary.
“Dear” seems unduly cozy. It brings to mind the long-coupled couple. The Dear implicated in “Have you seen my earrings, Dear?” shoulders a burden unknown to Dear Cardholder.
“To Whom it May Concern” begs the snide retort. If a letter is that vague about its destination, it may concern no whom.
“Greetings” only works for aliens, “Good Evening” for vampires, “Darling” for the paperback cad. “Hello” suits Kitty.…