A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Blog: Diverging in a Wood
February 20, 2012
Knee-jerk.
I was thinking upon this word this morning so I opened The American Heritage Dictionary that sits in my office and found:
adj. 1. Automatic
2. Marked by or reacting with unthinking predictability.
Not quite what I was searching for so maybe I need to check one more source.
I decided to try the Internet and landed on The FreeDictionary:
1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive; - in persons with strong feelings on a topic, it may be very predictable.
Bingo. Contemporary definitions often leave nothing to interpretation and this case is no exception. This was the definition I was looking for all along. 
A few incidents in the National media as well as locally have made me wonder lately: Are we becoming such a reactionary people that we're losing touch with basic concern and kindness? No, I'm not specifically zeroing in on any one person, incident, or comment. If your defenses just rose and you're now thinking, "But I didn't mean...", "We weren't intending...", or "You don't understand", that's all fine and good, but please slow down and realize this is a generalized topic and again, not an attack on anything or anyone. My point is simply, what was your first reaction to a recent newsworthy tragedy? Your very first? Compassion? Kindness? Sorrow? Or was it one of cynicism, aggravation, or perhaps it was sadness yet tinged with irritation at some detail in the story?
All I know is that all too often, we're knee-jerking our way into a very different world than the one I grew up in.
Our reactions to newsworthy events make a difference because we often feel removed from them, personally and by location. We begin to feel we can react any way we please or say anything we want because the event has nothing to do with us, but this is my point exactly. With seven-billion people on this planet, shouldn't we be caring more instead of less about each other?
Maybe I should illustrate my point with a non-newsworthy event.
I once lived in a rental home near Port Townsend on four acres. Only one acre sat behind us, which means we had three lovely acres of land directly in front of the house between us and a beautiful view of the bay. In between us and our view was a two-lane stretch of road where cars often whipped by at a pretty quick pace, despite a 40 mph zone.
One day as I was looking out the picture window, I noticed a car pull over rather quickly and I realized something was amiss right in front of the house. I threw on a pair of shoes and rushed to the road to see if I could be of some assistance. What I found was an elderly woman standing by the front of her car, sobbing. A young black lab - he couldn't have been a year old - was laying on the pavement.
Several young men, including the dog's owner, were running from their home across the street and a middle-aged woman who had been walking her dog on the other side of the road was also making a determined approach to the scene. The woman with the dog was talking even before she arrived; evidently she'd seen the entire thing and she felt it important to tell everyone exactly how it had happened. No one else felt it mattered, it was an accident, but she wandered from person to person, rattling off details as if she were being interviewed by Scotland Yard.
The young men told us the dog's name was "Johnny Rotten" and the young man who knelt by his side couldn't have been much more than a teenager. The elderly woman controlled her sobs, but her hands were still shaking as she apologized to the young man. "He just came out of nowhere, I'm so, so sorry..." The young man began to cry, but as men of all ages often do, he stopped himself and took a deep breath before reaching down and stroking the dog's fur. His sadness was breaking the hearts of everyone who stood near. Well, almost everyone.
The woman who had been walking her dog now felt it necessary to stop giving details of the incident in order to pursue her new intention, which was to lecture the young man on why he should never have let his dog run free without a leash. She then told the young man that people who are irresponsible with dogs do not deserve to have them and, "this is what happens..."
Appalled, we tried to tell the woman this was not the time nor the place to berate the young man, but of course, by that time, it was too late. The woman's rant had hit its mark and the damage was done. The young man picked Johnny Rotten up from the pavement and carried him across the street to mourn in peace. I escorted the elderly woman to my home until she could stop shaking and drive again - she'd just lost her own pet the day before... The brainless woman, as I've come to remember her, no longer with an audience, wandered back to the other side of the road and left the way she came.
Knee-jerk. Reactionary. Unthinking.
When I thought more about the incident, I was enraged and felt terribly sorry for the young man. What did that woman know about what happened? She saw a moment in time, then made hurtful assumptions. She then made those assumptions known at a time and place that were not only inappropriate, but they were insensitive and cruel. She didn't know all of the facts and even if the young man had been in the wrong, wasn't a harsh lesson already underway?
Every tragedy has multiple sides and yes, there very well may be a time to question the events surrounding most deaths or disasters, but in today's world we tend to rush to judgment and forget that perhaps our first reaction should be about having compassion for our fellow human beings. I keep wondering, just who are we becoming?
So, how about just one more definition?
Empathy: Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives. 
We've all rushed to judgment, I'm no more immune than anyone else reading this, but I do try to be mindful of others and yes, I consciously practice empathy. Next time disaster strikes (and you know there will be a next time) try actually identifying with someone else and understanding what they or their family must be feeling. My guess is, if the shoe were on the other foot, you might want them to do the same for you.
P.S. If you clicked on this entry expecting an article on knee-jerk reactions in politics, sorry... but seriously, don't even get me started on that one.
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freethinker 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
A great subject and very well written, too.
kyook 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Sorry, freethinker, anonymous posts are not allowed. Please consider re-registering. Thanks.
kyook 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
By calling this woman "brainless" you have demonstrated that possibly you are just as guilty of "Knee-jerk. Reactionary. Unthinking" as anybody else.
Perhaps you are not as capable of "Empathy: (Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motive) as you'd like to think you are.
Just sayin'...
KatyDid 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Thanks for your comment, B., but I'll stand by my words.
Though her words were obviously reactionary, I've had more than a decade to mull over my opinion of this event and that woman. I'll concede, my word "brainless" may have been unflattering and unkind, but reactionary and knee-jerk? No, that it was not.
I also don't really see how it had anything to do with my capacity for empathy, but I'll just let that one pass.
B., when you say, "Perhaps you are not as capable of Empathy... as you'd like to think you are." Believe me, I would never presume.
I know you don't know me, but if when you read this piece, what you got from it was that I was trying to tout that I thought I was more empathetic or feeling than others, then I consider the whole thing chicken scratch.
Food for thought... that's all it was, food for thought.
kyook 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Of course you stand by your words as people generally find it far easier to find fault in others than to engage in truly unbiased introspection.
Is reactionary and knee jerk limited to some arbitrary time frame? Perhaps someone should write a blog about holding grudges for extended periods of time.
I completely understand the meaning contained within your blog, the world would truly be a far better place if only mankind were more empathetic toward one another. But, I do find it rather hypocritical to tout empathy while simultaneously calling other people unflattering and unkind names. Just sayin'...
Food for thought... To quote an old Eric Clapton song: "Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself". (Not that you were accusing me)
To quote a very wise man who happened to be my martial arts sensei: "When you have acheived a state of personal perfection, only then will you be in a position to criticize another. Until then, not so much."
KatyDid 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
On the contrary, I've thought quite a bit about your comments, as I do everyone's. This is a good example of how you truly can't know anyone by a few words pecked out on a keyboard. Your first paragraph may define someone out there, but it is definitely not me.
You asked if knee-jerk was limited to some arbitrary time frame and I'd have to answer yes, by definition. The definition clearly uses words such as immediate and reaction, this indicates an instantaneous response, not words uttered after reflection.
It seems we have something in common, I don't believe in holding grudges either. I hold a poor opinion of that woman, but I don't hold a grudge by any means, which brings me back to this piece. You may have a poor opinion of me because of the choice of one word, and you are welcome to that opinion, but as previously stated, I never claimed to be the model for this piece; believe me, I am fully aware that we all live in glass houses. Thanks again.
joanne 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Good one, KatyDid. Loved the blog; you are so right. Some people feel the world is entitled to hear their opinion whether or not it is wanted or appropriate. Having empathy and displaying more sympathy would be good for us all.
KatyDid 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Thanks, Joanne.
JimboBear 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Lisa, I entirely agree with the premise of this blog post. I think most of us are inclined to speak before we thoroughly think out how our words might affect others. We may think about most others, but we don't think about all others, if that makes any sense.
Many factors enter into this including age bracket, what part of the world or country we come from, ethnic background and many others, I'm sure. As an example, I once posted a picture of an old Internet friend on the 5th (?) anniversary of his passing. The photo showed him curled up and sleeping in a bath tub with blanket and pillow. It was a very endearing photo in my mind because it spoke for the kind of man he was and how he could always make do with what life handed him and not only make do but learn from the experience and help others to understand why he did. The truth was that he had decided to attend a function on the spur of the moment and when he was unable to find a room or even share one with another friend, he laughingly said he'd "sleep in a bathtub if that was all he could find", so that's just where he ended up.
Another contributor to the group who happened to live in Austria was TOTALLY offended because she felt that it was a degrading image of him showing a lack of respect for the dead and beyond inappropriate. Location of the participants, the local cultures, the degree of friendship between the deceased fellow and a few other things made the difference. We both loved, honored, and sorely missed the man, but were at opposite poles on the remembrance.
I think what I'm trying to say is that while we all need to think about how what we say may affect others, we also need to be a little less thin skinned about what they say. "Knee Jerk " reactions and statements can be an indication of shock and concern just as easily as they can be disrespectful. Most who post in this forum are not professional writers, in fact most probably have very little education or training in writing. I think we all need to be aware of that and temper our reactions to others posts with some awareness of our diferences.
KatyDid 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Well said, Jim.
Who was it who said, "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
Forums where the participants are virtual strangers invite misinterpretation. I've never had very thick skin, I'll work on heeding your advice. ;-)
kyook 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
A couple of great points here, Jimbo.
It's never a black and white world, is it? The glass isn't just half empty or half full because it depends on whether you're drinkin' or whether you're pourin'.
It's easy to stand on the sidelines as a disinterested third party and make judgements about whether someone is lacking in empathy, or they are being knee-jerk reactionary, unthinking, or brainless. What may have been perceived by one as a poor time to berate someone for their stupidity may have been perceived by another as a great teachable moment especially in light of having been in a similar situation the day before.
Human emotions are a highly complex thing. We are all products of our experiences and people shouldn't be demonized simply because their reations to stressful situations may be different than our own. Empathy goes beyond the victim in certain scenarios, such as the one mentioned in the blog. Empathy could also be extended to the brainless reactionaries in the world, could it not?
Holding a poor opinion for someone a decade later doesn't strike me as taking the high road or being particularly empathetic. I wonder how that woman is today? I wonder if the blog writer would have the courage of her convictions to find out and maybe to apologize to her for holding on to her poor opinion for so long?
KatyDid 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
B. Really? My goodness, this is much ado about nothing.
Of course I would never search for this woman, I have nothing for which to apologize. I have not demonized this woman, I don't even know her. I just disagreed with something she did once upon a time and related the story later.
I grew up with a saying about the pot calling the kettle black and I can't help but see the similarity here. You seem to be worried that I have made a judgment about someone else without any thought to her feelings, but aren't you doing the same? You don't know me nor have you given any thought to my motivation, and yet you came out of the gate firing and still you persist on the same hard line. And here's the difference: I spoke one disparaging word about a nameless, faceless woman and yet you have made the choice to continually scold me publically over the choice of that one word. Do you not see the incongruity?
I have taken into account every word you have said, I have read them, I have thought about them, and I have even conceded when I felt it necessary. I wonder if you have even thought about my replies, except when you read them to use them for fodder for your own; you seem too eager to attack. This final time, you not only attacked, but you challenged me to an impossible task, then questioned my principles. That, Kyook, in my book, is going too far.
If you would like to debate the actual topics in the above blog, I am open to discussion, but this ridiculous baiting has gone on long enough.
kyook 3 months ago
A Reactionary Rant Against Knee-Jerk Rants
Lisa, yes, it is a lot of ado but it certainly isn't about nothing.
Of course I see the incongruity, I'm glad that you finally spotted it.
The gist of your blog is that we should all take the time to "try actually identifying with someone else and understanding what they or their family must be feeling" and in the end the world might be a better place for it.
Rather than try to further explain my point which I have apparenly done poorly so far, let me just ask a couple of questions. I wonder how you would answer them.
Is it better to apply empathy across the board or should it be applied selectively? Should we only try to see it from Johhny Rotten's owners viewpoint or does the brainless (which she is neither) woman's point of view count for something too?
Do we know if the brainless woman has seen perhaps dozens of dogs killed in this same way in this same area and this one just happened to push her over the top in her reaction? Do we know if her husband was at home dying of cancer and she is walking a razors edge between sanity and insanity? We do know that she she had lost her own pet the day before, do we know how upset she still is on the day of this incident? Do we know what her childhood might have been like, if maybe she had seen pets abused?
The list of questions could go on and on, the point is did you rush to judgement a little yourself? Does this nameless, faceless woman (which she is not) deserve equal empathy or is that reserved for somebody else? You did more than use one word to bolster your poor opinion of the brainless woman, you also called her Knee-jerk. Reactionary. Unthinking. That isn't very sensitive to her feelings as I see it.
You may call it the pot calling the kettle black or baiting but I call it asking relevant questions as they pertain to your blog.
Lisa, this is a public forum that is open for discussion. I hope that you have not taken any of this personally but when you put your thoughts out there publicly then you have to expect that someone is going to make observations and comments about them.
I hope you can empathize.
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